Friday Fictioneers/Taking Back The Crown – The Captain’s Diary


Copyright – Managua Gunn

I saw the picture this week, and coincidentally, it kind of fit in with today’s scheduled post for Taking Back The Crown, the not-so-mini-series I’m posting. I thought about doing a kind of two-in-one post, but 1. That would be cheating and 2. There were no 100 word segments of the post that made real sense.

I decided to create a diary entry for one of the characters instead.

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29th July 1922

 More disappointment today. I could not convince Dareth Vitch to assist us in the fight to reclaim Litia. I should not be surprised. It has been 20 years since Litia fell and the Royal Family disappeared.  Most people have made new homes and livelihoods. I cannot feel the same way. London will never be where I belong.

Linden’s efforts to gather troops for battle are admirable, but I fear we will never have enough manpower to purge Litia of the demons that possess it.

I continue to hope and pray for the Royal Family.

Captain Lineus Bayford


49 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers/Taking Back The Crown – The Captain’s Diary

  1. I like the idea of the diary entry. Have to stash that thought in the back of my mind for another day. (Maybe next week, everyone but you will have a diary entry.) 🙂 Good job.


  2. OK, not bad, not bad at all. Very nice, in fact.
    Sounds like you have some characters in the wings and a good story to boot. I’d like to read about these folks sometime. Thanks!

    • Thanks. Not all of the story is this sad, though there was a part I was writing, I think it’s part thirteen, my eyes were actually watering. It killed me to just write it. I could feel the characters’ pain.

  3. Yes, it has a quality of an earlier time – earlier even than the 1920 to my ear. But – permission to nit-pick? The three abbreviations in the first paragraph snagged. Not that any of them would be impossible – certainly not in speech – but… Even in my schooldays (1960s) I can remember being told off for writing abbreviations, and I know formality was even more required of earlier generations, so I wonder whether, in 1922, an educated person of an upper middle-class background (which is what I imagine for Capt. Bayford), even writing in a private diary, would use any of these, let alone all three in such quick succession.

    Of course, if you write “could not”, “should not” and “it has” you go three words over the limit … but then “manpower” is actually one word so that saves you one 🙂

    • You’re absolutely right. Historical writing is certainly not my strength. There are probably lots of issues with speech throughout the series, certain phrases and mannerisms that are obviously modern English.

      Thanks for your tips though, I’ll change it now and be wary of it from now on.

    • Thanks, I’ve learned a lot from FF, I think. I’d never attempted any kind of Flash Fiction before this group and was like, “One hundred words? How can you tell a story in one hundred words?”

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