Copyright – Managua Gunn
I saw the picture this week, and coincidentally, it kind of fit in with today’s scheduled post for Taking Back The Crown, the not-so-mini-series I’m posting. I thought about doing a kind of two-in-one post, but 1. That would be cheating and 2. There were no 100 word segments of the post that made real sense.
I decided to create a diary entry for one of the characters instead.
If you wish to take part in Friday Fictioneers, click here.
29th July 1922
More disappointment today. I could not convince Dareth Vitch to assist us in the fight to reclaim Litia. I should not be surprised. It has been 20 years since Litia fell and the Royal Family disappeared. Most people have made new homes and livelihoods. I cannot feel the same way. London will never be where I belong.
Linden’s efforts to gather troops for battle are admirable, but I fear we will never have enough manpower to purge Litia of the demons that possess it.
I continue to hope and pray for the Royal Family.
Captain Lineus Bayford
To Be A Magician 
I enjoyed the historical feel to the story. Well-done!
Thank you. When I realized this part of the story would have to be set in the 1920’s for the timeline to work, I was kind of dreading it.
Dear Miss Zebra,
Well-crafted with not a word out of place.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you. It was lucky for me that this picture came up. I feel it gives more insight into why some Litians would bother going to war and why some would not.
I like this approach to the story. I sort of have a sense of compassion for the captain. Well done.
It’s always useful to be able to see a story from another perspective.
i really like the way you presented your story, well done 🙂
Thanks, I’ve never thought of doing a diary entry for a Friday Fictioneers piece before.
I like the idea of the diary entry. Have to stash that thought in the back of my mind for another day. (Maybe next week, everyone but you will have a diary entry.) 🙂 Good job.
janet
Haha, I’ve never been much of a trendsetter. I’m sure that, with the number of entries FF gets, someone will have done it before.
Thank you! 😀
Good portrayal of a man’s thoughts when faced with a seemingly unattainable goal.
I have a suspicion that the memory of his country of birth is slightly more idyllic than it really was.
I like the voice of this. It sounds olden day. I’d like to read more! 😀
The rest of the series can be found by pressing the “Taking Back The Crown” link on the right.
Oh wonderful. Thanks.
OK, not bad, not bad at all. Very nice, in fact.
Sounds like you have some characters in the wings and a good story to boot. I’d like to read about these folks sometime. Thanks!
Too many characters and too many stories. I’m attempting NaNoWriMo this July so hopefully I’ll get a few more down during that.
A great presentation and a nice introduction to something apocalyptic… well done (also love the diary form)
It was the easiest way of getting the date in without using up too many words.
I thought the way you wrote the log entry was very accurate
nicely done
He seems very defeated. He doesn’t have much hope at this point.
But that’s about to change. 😀
The loyal captain. effective write-up
He worked very hard to become a captain and shortly after he was promoted, Litia fell.
I’d be gutted too.
So very nicely written. Smooth and clean, you get the sense of his mood, his anxiety. A good read for me!
Thanks. Not all of the story is this sad, though there was a part I was writing, I think it’s part thirteen, my eyes were actually watering. It killed me to just write it. I could feel the characters’ pain.
I want to hear all about Dareth Vitch, if not be named after him!
Coming up with names is always so hard! Haha.
Yes, it has a quality of an earlier time – earlier even than the 1920 to my ear. But – permission to nit-pick? The three abbreviations in the first paragraph snagged. Not that any of them would be impossible – certainly not in speech – but… Even in my schooldays (1960s) I can remember being told off for writing abbreviations, and I know formality was even more required of earlier generations, so I wonder whether, in 1922, an educated person of an upper middle-class background (which is what I imagine for Capt. Bayford), even writing in a private diary, would use any of these, let alone all three in such quick succession.
Of course, if you write “could not”, “should not” and “it has” you go three words over the limit … but then “manpower” is actually one word so that saves you one 🙂
You’re absolutely right. Historical writing is certainly not my strength. There are probably lots of issues with speech throughout the series, certain phrases and mannerisms that are obviously modern English.
Thanks for your tips though, I’ll change it now and be wary of it from now on.
This is excellent. This tells a lot about the background in a very short space of writing. Great job.
Thanks, I’ve learned a lot from FF, I think. I’d never attempted any kind of Flash Fiction before this group and was like, “One hundred words? How can you tell a story in one hundred words?”
I am not good with historical writing, but I manage to squeak this out for another prompt – you might enjoy:
http://julesinflashyfiction.wordpress.com/2013/06/17/ligo-haibun-challenge-goodie-marthas-last-thoughts/
The Friday Fictioneers piece adds to the Vamp story.
Cheers.
I am returrning from a cruise and have so many new ideas. I like the diary treatment.
Thanks, I was a little inspired by Fate, by L.R. Fredericks. Although the book isn’t written in diary form, it does often give the date at the start of a chapter.
I like it – and love the voice you create for Lineus. Nicely done!
I’m a little sad you don’t get to see him all that much in the Taking Back The Crown series.
Well I’ll be back to read more of the series at some point, for sure
Dear Misskzebra,
Your decision to use a diary entry was inspired. Room to develop sub-plots and backstories aplenty.
Aloha,
Doug
Haha, this is actually part of a backstory for my novel.
Nice. I’m going to have to go back and read the rest of Taking Back the Crown now. Good read!
That’s great! I really hope you enjoy it. 😀
this is nice… great voice 🙂
Thank you. 🙂
Yep, definitely like what you’ve done here. Makes me want to read the rest of your story.
If you ever have the time you’ll find all the posts under Taking Back The Crown on the right hand side of this page.
A clever device. And a lot in there to hook us into the ongoing narrative.
Pretty much the point of this entire blog. 😉
I can only repeat what Janet said, great idea using a diary entry. Well writen, an enjoyble read
Thank you! 🙂