There’s nothing wrong.
You’re not trapped here, you can go outside, she thought. In fact, that’s a great idea. Let’s go to Tesco and get some lemonade.
The air outside seemed just as cloying and stale as the air in the house. She pushed her thumb through her keyring and twisted the keys round and round as she walked on the damp pavement. Dirt seemed the surround her. Abandoned plastic sacks of rubbish were strewn around like urban boulders. The grey sky hung above her, a great, unwashed bed sheet.
Despite the filth, she wanted to keep walking. She wanted to go past the shop and keep going, until she felt better. But she knew that she couldn’t walk forever.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy had taught her to treat her mind like a machine. Find the faulty thoughts and replace them, like they’re a worn out part. She searched and she searched and she could find the problem. It was between her breasts, a tight sensation that reached her throat and made her feel like she was choking.
She didn’t know what was causing that.
Sometimes there is no ‘why.’
Interesting post. My direct experience is of a person with BPD, who also claims to suffer from OCD. Since she never perseveres with any treatment of any sort, CBT would be out.
CBT has really worked for me in the past, but sometimes it doesn’t. Trying to get anything else on the NHS besides drug therapy is really hard work.
Sometimes there is no why…
A timely and topical piece. CBT takes work, real work, but I’ve found it ideal for writers, and creative people in general. We have the imaginations to think of the worst, why not flip that and think of the best?
But, of course, nothing ever works perfectly for everyone, and there is no miracle pill.
Only hard work, faith and perseverance can truly help these debilitating conditions.
It was inspired a little by Stephen Fry.
I’ve found CBT to work really well for me, it really has changed the way I perceive life and I feel so much better for it.
It just doesn’t work for me when I have moods that are different from the usual depression.
Nothing works all the time. You just gotta keep going, and know that tomorrow will be different.