I’m sure you’ve all missed me over the Christmas break (*tumbleweed*) but I’m back with a Friday Fictioneers submission. If you’d like to submit your own story based on the picture, click here.
The stone crumbles beneath my fingertips, leaving dirty smears across my palms. I look up to see a house which should have been abandoned long ago, but you’re still there, staring at me sadly through the hole where the window should be. I see her clinging onto you. I see her tears. I see her mouthing her name for me.
“Homewrecker.”
She doesn’t understand that the waves of time decayed this place before I arrived, made the foundation so weak the whole thing could topple with one push.
I place my hands against the rock and call out my final warning.
To Be A Magician 
I seriously like this. The voice is quite scary, really menacing. Well done.
Thanks Sandra. 🙂
And she gets the last word or should I say act.
I think she’s hoping that he’ll survive the fall, and even that he’ll be grateful for forcing him out of that house.
Interesting. 🙂
Good use of the metaphor of the house/marriage and that of the homewrecker. You also show how things and people appear different based on perspective.
janet
Exactly. The wife obviously did not understand how precarious their little home was under she felt the effects of the “homewrecker.”
I love the undercurrent in this, great job 🙂
Thanks Helen.
Dreamlike. But probably a nightmare. Well conjured.
Oh, for a world where we could so easily see our problems as metaphors! Perhaps we’d be able to solve them with less pain.
gorgeous piece.such brilliantly written metaphor 🙂
Thank you. With exams and placement interviews, I miss being able to write regularly!
lovely MissK, beautifully expressd.
Thanks!
In 100 words you really made me hate her! So well done.
I like the crumbling of marriage against the crumbling of the structure. Well done!
Thank you. 🙂
Nice 😛
Reblogged this on Merit Coba and commented:
Just wanted to test what reblog means and show a small story made by someone else.
She seems like a woman who knows what’s she wants and will stop at nothing. After the final warning, she topples the house?
To be fair, it’s more that she thinks she knows what HE wants. In her eyes, she’s trying to free him from that house.
Hell hath no fury . .
A crumbling house as a metaphor for a crumbling relationship. Very nicely done indeed.
Great metaphor. I agree with Linda — 100 words, and I loathe her — homewrecker, indeed!
Yes. Home wreckers are hated, and for good reason!
“…the waves of time decayed this place before I arrived” – well said.
Great use of the metaphor carried throughout.
Wow. Your comparison of a crumbling marriage and a crumbling home/structure is powerfully carried through here. The image of the wife mouthing the word “home wrecker,” is nothing short of brilliant. Love this; it’s gorgeous, start to finish. And yes, we did miss you!
That’s nice to hear! I’m so stressed with exams/job interviews that just having time to lose myself in the creation of one small FF piece feels like a wonderful luxury!
FF is always a good way to let stress go and have some fun.
Dear Miss KZebra,
I echo what’s already been said. Great metaphor. Great use of the prompt.
shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle. This was one of the wonderful times I started with that first sentence and I was actually happy with the first story that appeared.
See above re metaphor. Sometimes the marriage needs pulling down; repairs do’t work.
I agree, and I’m glad you see that. I had hoped to create a piece more sympathetic to the “homewrecker,” but unfortunately the word count just prevented me from saying what I really wanted to say. I must admit I gave up when I typed the last sentence.
Oh yes.. The homwrecker is not the only one guilty. Love this metaphor
One would argue that she is far less guilty than him. She made no commitments or vows.