Valentine’s Day Quickie: The Tragic Romance of KitKat and Oreo

In the fair land of Sainsbury’s, a foolish KitKat from the house of Nestle did an unspeakable thing. She lost her heart to Oreo of the house of Mondelez. Across the biscuit aisle, she yearned know of the soft centre beneath the dark biscuit. Oreo reciprocated KitKat’s love, and longed to be with her.

Alas, Oreo was betrothed to Dairy Milk. When KitKat saw the promotional materials, it hurt her to her wafery core, and she felt as if she were being snapped in two.

One fateful afternoon, an angel in the form of a determined shopper made their way to biscuit aisle. She had in her hand an eccentric cheesecake recipe that called for the marriage of two very different chocolate biscuits.

As she carelessly tossed them into her basket, KitKat almost exploded with excitement. She lay face down, able to feel Oreo’s curves through the thin foil. She was surprised her chocolate robe wasn’t melting due to the tension.

The moment they were pounded together to form the cheesecake base was ecstatic, and there were a few beautiful hours where they remained as one.

Although they met their tragic end that night, swallowed by dinner party guests, their hearts were satisfied. The diners declared it to be a match made in heaven.


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