Image belongs to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Just about managed to write a story for the CORRECT picture prompt for this week. This 100 word story is for the Friday Fictioneers challenge. Please follow link to view other stories and see rules for entering.
The back of the sofa yielded 21p, enough to buy some reduced bread from Asda. The whole time, I was hoping to God that nobody from school would spot me and ask if I was okay, that nobody would notice I was paying in coppers.
At home, my heart jumped when I saw lights in the kitchen, and mum at the table. After nine days in bed, she was finally up. Just as I dared hope she was ready to be mum again, I saw her vacant expression, staring at the flame of a candle.
“She loved candles,” mum murmured.
Bleak but well written
Thank you. 🙂
Oooh, I like this. Good turn at then end!
Tragic tale, expertly written. Loved the school kid’s voice, very authentic, and a great last line.
Thank you! It was difficult to try and put across the age of the narrator, I think.
Dear Miss KZebra,
A bleak story well told.
I admire how you get the struggle for survival, the shame, the hope, and the crushing of that hope into these few words.
Thanks, I really, really battled with the word count on this one.
Oh you have painted such a picture of that poor child’s life in so few words.
Thank you, it is always a struggle to stay within the word limit.
I love how you create a sad tale with such few words, the small hope followed by a plunge made it all the sadder.
Thank you for reading, I always feel a bit guilty when doing sad stories for Friday Fictioneers as generally people have to read a lot of dark submissions, it can get a bit heavy!
I agree with Fabricating Fiction you described the desperate life of the child excellently. I sudden hope that was quickly dashed really made me feel the bleakness of the poor child’s life.
I was inspired a bit by Jacqueline Wilson’s, “The Illustrated Mum” for this one.
What a great description of a child’s fortitude, and desperate hope, and thinking. Powerful, and, obviously, sad.
Thanks for reading Randy, I appreciate your comments.
A child exposed in every way that is painful. Her hopes dashed with one stare.
Aewsome write …
I’m glad you enjoyed it! These challenges are always, well, challenging.